Random thoughts, including good ones

I got married on March 17, 2012. Getting married again brings with it so many different thoughts. For one, I am 11 years older than I was the first time. Life is a lot more complicated. I have children, and in many respects more responsibilities. I sometimes think of the heady days before my first marriage, when I had no idea what to expect. Things were easier in a sense. This time, there is happily more of a sense of permanence, and of responsibility, and of doing things right.

The first time around, I had no idea what to expect. I have some idea now, but it's still not clear. I don't know if I want it to be. What I do know is that I have to take each day and use it, in the sense of my marriage, as if it were my last. That can mean wonderful things for myself and for my new bride, Hollie, but there's also a reality check here. That what I say, think and do matters to many people, not just myself. That I can never take for granted what has been given to me, and that I must always remember the good fortune I have had to be where I am. There are a lot of people who aren't.

I think of that often when I think of where I am at this point. I messed up epically last time, and I will always have to work toward making the relationship I have with my children better every single day. I can only hope that the same feeling prevails in our marriage. I need to learn patience, love, ambition, caring and humility when it comes to my relationship with Hollie. It doesn't happen overnight; nor is it accomplished over a period of years. It is a work in eternal progress.

Sometimes it helps to get these thoughts down so that I might be reminded of what I must do if I am to live the life I was truly intended to live.