Either it was a bombshell, or I'm incredibly naive, or neither

For the better part of a year, I have tried to practice this concept of unconditional love. Most of the time, I have failed. Oh, I've thought about it plenty. But in practice, it rarely comes out like it is supposed to. Now, I have to summon all of my strength to practice it to the fullest, because of a recent development I learned today.

My wife (a term which I doubt I will be using much longer) and I have been conversing a bit lately. Mind you, it's the kind of conversation one might have with a casual friend or even a serviceable roommate or significant other. "You OK?" "How are you?" "Can I help you with anything?" or, lately, "Do you need any money?" Nothing more than that, really, though I've been longing for so much more for such a long time.

Being as long-winded as I am, I'll simply cut to the chase now. I called Cherie this afternoon to tell her how I was doing health-wise. I figure, at the very least, she has a right to know, lest the money gravy train suddenly grind to a halt without her knowledge.

That's a crude way of saying things, I know, but you'll understand in a minute why I feel that way. Some dude answered her phone.

Hello.

I ask if I could speak to Cherie. She's not here, the voice on the other end of the phone said. She's taking her daughter back to her dad's house.

And who, may I ask, is this?

This is her boyfriend, the voice answered.

Now, like the title of this post suggests, either I'm incredibly naive to believe that she hasn't seen anyone in the past 15 months, or this person is outright lying. I have no idea. I say naive, because, well, in 15 months, I haven't even looked at anyone in any other way except as a friend.

I'm still married. I have the ring on my finger, though it's probably going to go off very soon. Every thought I have had, and my actions have suggested, that I want my wife and I to work things out. That's my perspective, and I have a right to that perspective.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Yanni," he said, though I thought at first he said something else. Yanni, like the new-age smooth jazz dude favored by late-blooming yuppies in the 90s. That guy. The long, flowing hair and weird vibes. That dude.

Ohhhh-kayyyyy. Never mind that we're still married, she's still calling me all the time for money, and the fact that there are TWO KIDS wondering WTF is going on here. Never mind the fact that for all of her bombast saying she wants a divorce, I've never seen papers cross my mailbox.

Never mind the fact that, well, gee, I guess she's not going to the bishop anymore or raising the kids in the church anymore -- the same church and faith that, for me at least, has seemingly outlasted our marriage, for God's sake.

What do I do? A cynic would say the writing's been on the wall for a long time now, and to cut my losses and move on. But is that what I want? Absolutely not. Do I wait for her to give me an explanation? Is she unaware this twit even talked to me? Did she want him to? And why is she even bothering to communicate with me if in fact she does have someone else? Why wouldn't she just come out and tell me? I'm a grown man; I can deal with it. It's not like I haven't thought things have been over for some time. Why would I have to hear this from someone other than herself?

I would say that I might feel like crying or wringing my hands here; but strangely, I don't. If she wants to move on, that's her business. It doesn't change my game plan at all. I still have those kids to worry about and love, and want to be near them. People have been telling me that for months. That's still the plan, and I still plan to forge forward, whether or not "Yanni" -- be he real or imagined -- is in the picture at all.

I wonder, Heavenly Father, if the concept of unconditional love can withstand this test. If it is in fact a test, you can rest assured I will pass it again with flying colors.