Somewhat scared at what feels right

I will be going to church today. It matters little that it is Super Bowl Sunday or fast and testimony Sunday. I will be going to church.

I have not gone to church since returning to Fresno in October, save for one brief time. I am scared. Scared of what, I don't know. But it is where I need to be, I feel, despite the presence of my family who might be asking why I would forgo greasy food and a six-hour pregame show just to go to church.

Those who ask that question don't or won't understand. It simply is where I need to be. I have missed it very much and want to be a part of something. I want my understanding of the Gospel to grow. It can't do that well if it's not being spiritually fed.

I know it won't be a big deal to go through the chapel doors or sit in the pew, hearing other people's testimonies of Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ. It won't be hard to hear why people feel compelled to get up and talk today, even if they haven't talked in months at a testimony meeting.

I doubt I will say something today. I might want to, but I think it's better to listen and observe, just for once. It's time to reconnect with Heavenly Father, who gave me so much to be thankful and proud of. I may not tell Him as often as I should.

So wish me Godspeed. There's a part of me -- a very big part of me -- that can't wait to walk in the chapel today.