Constant euphoria

I started writing this blog mainly because I wanted to get my thoughts out on a device on a regular basis. Reading most of these entries, it becomes clear that this blog is almost like a "concept" blog, much like the "concept" rock albums put out by Pink Floyd, the Alan Parsons Project and so forth. They have a story to tell, with crescendoes and arcs.

Anyone who reads this could probably surmise that it's been a rough time since I started writing here. And it has. The constant literal (and mostly figurative) hand-wringing over my situation takes the most precedence.

And so it almost seems counterintuitive to write about positive things in here. But positive things do happen, and have happened to me over the life of this blog. Why not celebrate them? Why not put away the self-loathing feelings I've had for myself?

I say "constant euphoria" because that's the way I've been feeling for a few weeks now. The catalyst for this has been a new relationship, embryonic as it is. And it is embryonic, no matter how long Danielle and I speak to one another each time out. We may sound like the most wonderful people on the planet together; there's quite a difference in dealing with that person in everyday situations -- cleaning the house, shuttling kids, paying bills, eating right, even making time for dates, etc. I haven't had the opportunity to leave the toilet seat up, for example; nor have I drank straight from a milk carton in front of her yet.

It's a complex emotion, what I'm feeling. The heart says one thing, and the brain says something else entirely. Not that the two are fighting; it's just that the brain is, well, to be honest, cerebral. There's more logic involved there than with the heart, if you will.

I'm thinking it's best to let it ride, and let this blog be perhaps less of a "concept" and more of my reality at the moment. That's what it always has been; I just feel incredibly lucky to be in the place I am now.

And there's no shame in admitting that.