Hanging out back home

I've been "home" for about two months now. I've come home before, but it's usually only been to visit. The last time I spent so much time here was over 10 years ago. Being "home" makes me feel young and old at the same time.

It makes me feel young and old -- for the following reasons:

I know how to get to and from a lot of places. Like I did when I was first driving when I was 17 years old.

Hanging out with my parents. No matter how old I am, it still makes me feel like I'm in the 11th grade sometimes, talking to them. It also reminds me that I've got to get out of here soon. Not that I don't love my parents, but I mean, they should be doing their own thing rather than wondering if I've had enough to eat. Thank you very much, and I'm doing OK.

I see a lot of old references to my past -- my college, driving past my old elementary school, pulling into the driveway of my dad's house.

I've also spent a lot of time hanging out in the places where I used to work right after college. One place, Kingsburg, is like a place where time stands still. It's still the same town where you see perfectly made-up plus-sized housewives in pleated black slacks and sweaters, driving empty Suburbans through a "Swedish Village" with piped-in music playing from speakers suspended from the trees. The next block, you hear Tejano music blaring from a '67 Impala and some young guys buying tacos al pastor from the carniceria. The young Hispanic men struggling to support their young families and the overweight stay-at-home mom with the Coach purse and overscheduled four kids have paths that never cross, strangely, even though they live about two blocks away.

People make fun of a town like that, yet many would give their next of kin to live in a town like that -- a peaceful town that looks a lot like Mayberry.

A lot of things feel the same, which is to say comfortable and scary at the same time. Comfortable because I realize that my life could stay like this forever, in a seemingly holding pattern, and me doing the same thing day in and day out.
Scary because that's the last thing I want at this point. But I can see how that can happen.

There was a reason why I came home. That I can see. But there's an equally important reason for me not to stay here longer than I have to.