A place I haven't been in a long time

I have debated whether to write anything about my latest developments. From a personal standpoint, it's my life and I can do whatever I want with it.

I have begun conversing with someone recently. Someone I met online. She is the most wonderful person I've met in a long time.

For nearly two years, I've resisted the urge to even look in anyone's direction. I didn't think I should, or I thought it was wrong, or un-Christlike. I didn't think I deserved to be happy.

And then, this week, I meet someone. Granted, it's online, but yesterday we talked for nearly seven hours online. That's right. We started talking at 9:30 p.m. and didn't stop until 4:30 p.m. The sun nearly came up when we were talking.

I don't know what to say. I don't know if it's the attention of someone, or if there's genuine attraction there or what. She's a bit younger than I am and has two children. She likes my humor. She's patient.

Oh, boy. I need to be with my children. But what is this? She's everything I ever envisioned someone in the church to be: someone with a strong testimony, who loves the Lord and the Gospel. She's going to school.

And then there's me. No place of my own. Creaky freelance job. Not much money. Kids in a different state. It sure doesn't look good. What am I supposed to do? I love my children and they need me...but I want to be personally happy, too.

I think we just let this ride out and not worry about what happens. The Lord will find a place for me, I'm sure. And when He does, I hope that He understands that I am looking for someone to love, to share life's joys with, and be a life partner.

She's a wonderful lady, this person. Makes me feel like I haven't felt in years. Makes me feel appreciated. If nothing else, it restores my faith in humankind, that there are nice people out there.

No one knows this at this point except a very dear friend of mine who lives in Atlanta. And that's only because he caught me online very early this morning. His advice? Have fun.
Perhaps that's the best thing I can do at this point.