I need to do something now

First off, let me say a few things. I am not perfect. I have made many, many mistakes in my life; mistakes which have hurt people and made them angry and have done things that I am not proud of. It is the majority of the reason why I am in the place where I am today.
I made mistakes, and I am paying the price.

Having said that, the more I learn about the situation my wife and children are in, the more I am left with a few conclusions: One, my wife is in complete denial of her own feelings. Two, like the post says, the longer I wait to do something, the more the blame could possibly be placed at my feet.

For now? I think the person cheating themselves out of a life, is my wife. She lives in abhorrent conditions, apparently, is supporting a deadbeat of a "boyfriend," and the kids are flailing around, probably wondering who is in charge.

Should I judge her? No way. A person like that does not need judgment. They need love, compassion and caring.

My wonderful friends Gordon and Camille -- whom I often feel like canonizing for the support they give me and my family -- were in Idaho this week visiting Camille's relatives. They visited Cherie twice. Once, when she wasn't there, and their kids and our kids played together. They had lots of fun. The Southam kids often refer to long-lost friends as "cousins." They played while Cherie was doing laundry with her "boyfriend." Uh, ok. They spoke with Kara, who seemed nice enough (As an aside, I've never had a problem with Kara. I have less of a problem with her than I do some of Cherie's other friends).

Well, Cherie never showed up. Then, on Tuesday, Gordon and Camille came to Cherie's house again.

Cherie barely let them in the house. She apparently wasn't nice to them. She wasn't mean, but she certainly wasn't nice to two people she's known for years. The kids played and...oh, yeah, this guy Yanni was there...with four-letter word tats and all. Greaaat. And he doesn't appear to have a job.

And she's there with a bunch of smokers. No, they're not going to church, nobody's clean, no one has a job, and no one apparently can live with Cherie, as her mom moved out last week.

Bitter? Perhaps. A little self-introspection never hurts. But I have to ask myself: Am I that bad that she has to trade in a decent life for one teetering on the edge. Gee. I guess I'm that bad. So bad that she has to trade a life of somewhat stability, with someone who feels contrite and prays for her and the children every day and night, and has owned up to his mistakes, and, perhaps most importantly, would forgive her for everything in an instant, for the life she lives now.

Nah, I guess I'm too much trouble for that. I will continue to pray for them, but in the meantime, I have to ensure a life with my children where they can grow up in a loving environment, and not one where they are tossed to the ground in favor of some infatuated love interest, or worse, a person's "principled" stance against another.

I am thankful for people like Gordon and Camille. They are incomparable friends to me. And if they read that, I want them to know that I love them and their family very much.

Thank you.