A bittersweet day

My wife's father-in-law died yesterday. On Mother's Day.

I never knew Jerry very well, but he was a pretty good conversationalist. He was one of these guys who knew a little bit about everything -- whether it was replacing the carburetor on a 309 Chevy, the "old days" in Nye County when his dad, a sheriff's deputy, would be the only guy patrolling the streets, or Jerry's thoughts about crowds -- he downright hated them -- and that's why he and my wife's mother lived out "over the hump" in Pahrump, Nevada, about 70 miles down a treacherous two-lane ribbon of road west of Las Vegas in a tidy trailer not far from Jerry's parents.

I'll never forget the day Jerry showed my stepdaughter his heart -- you could literally see it beating inside his chest -- and how Destiny always said she "saw Jerry's heart beeping." That was priceless.

My thoughts are with my wife and children today, as they are always, but even more so. I had been conversing with her earlier the previous day via text -- and my texts weren't particularly kind.

Sometimes I'm of two minds -- I love my wife so much, that I often feel the need to "put her in her place" about how she has treated me.

The truth is, however, that anyone who feels the need to do that, should they themselves be put in their place, especially if they don't know the whole situation. My wife didn't know her father-in-law died until late Mother's Day, after my stupidity of text-messages, but it just goes to show that it's much better to give of yourself, no matter what you may feel the need to "get off your chest."

What if my own son or daughter had gotten gravely ill that night? What if my beloved wife had been in a car crash this morning? How would I have felt about the crap I subjected her to the day before?

I can tell you, I've felt terrible about the treatment of my wife before, but I would never be able to exist on this Earth if I had "gotten things off my chest" and those things would have happened hours later.

It just goes to show you -- and me -- that we can never take any single day for granted, or any person we love for granted. They may disappear when you least expect it, or when you're at the moment when you are least prepared.

With that, I will send my love out to my wife and the members of the Havey/Anderson/Crossman/Fleetwood/Eaton clan in Las Vegas, Nevada. My heart goes out to each of you this day. And I will try to remember, no matter how much I feel the need to get things off my chest, to show the people I love, real love, no matter what they do or what day of the week it happens to be.

Rest in peace, Jerry Fleetwood. There's a whole group of people who will miss you and love you and know you will be waiting for them on the other side.

To my beloved wife and children, bless you as well. May the Lord look upon you this day and smile, and give you the support and strength you need this day, and in the days to come.

I love you all, and though I am not there, my heart and my mind are.