My real job

It's a funny thing, going out and trying to rediscover yourself.

Because even as you do, there are people who might criticize you for the way you feel about how you're going about it.

I had a good weekend. Really, I did, even if I didn't get much sleep. Singing both Friday and Saturday night, with a day out on the lake sandwiched in between both evenings.

I had a good time. Hadn't been out on a boat probably in about five years or so. Tried to even cast a few lines in the water. Hadn't done that since I was probably about 10 years old. Don't even know how to do it.
Had a good time at karaoke, but there remains one big thing I am vehemently opposed to: the absolute preponderance of alcohol. Why do people feel the need to get blitzkrieged every time they have fun? I mean, how superficial is that?

This brings me to my point. Yes, going out and having fun is not inherently a bad thing. But I have a responsibility, you see. That responsibility, that desire, that want is very, very simple: I need to spend every waking moment I can working on bringing my family back together. I don't want to hear about how that isn't going to happen.

I owe it to my children, my wife, my family and myself to do what I can to get my family back. Now, I ask you: what on Earth is wrong with that? What's wrong is not working every day to build trust and confidence and love in my wife and my children. I need to do that every single day, even if I'm doing something that nobody but myself notices.

I don't have a choice. The Lord has told me to do exactly that, even if it isn't recognized by the people who need to recognize it. I feel much better about myself knowing I've helped someone than if I just put it away, and cave into my own desires. Those desires are temporary ones, not long-term ones that will have long-lasting positive consequences.

Because every time I go out and sing, and every time I waste time thinking about what my beloved is doing, without doing something for her or my children in the process, they lose out. My children lose out.

I want us back together. I love my wife and children. And I will not rest until they know that unequivocally.

Does this mean I won't go out and have fun? No. But as I have fun on a personal level, I must not forget what really matters. My wife and children are the ones that really matter. And I would give up everything on this Earth to be with them.

That's my real job.