Wanting to help someone I love

Today was at once euphoric and maddening. My wife's father-in-law died on Mother's Day (see below) and immediately that evening, the wheels started spinning in my head.

I called a good friend of mine, Gordon, who has been as staunch an ally as there ever has been since my wife and I split. I told him that I needed to do something for my wife in her time of need, to make her know she was loved despite everything going on in her life. I've learned that people often just want to be acknowledged, to be loved and know that others are thinking of them.

Gordon has always been in my corner. He has talked with me for hours about my situation, helped me understand things and see things in a different light than I might see them. He's a very matter-of-fact person, and I appreciate him for that. He's not as touchy-feely as I am, but he doesn't need to be. I respect him for the man he is, and for the guidance he gives. He and his wife love my entire family, and I love theirs. I'll never be ashamed to say that.

Anyway, when my wife told me she wanted to visit her family in Vegas for the funeral, I told Gordon. Immediately, the wheels began spinning. What could I do? I don't get paid for a spell, so that was ruled out. Almost immediately, Gordon's wife Camille said she'd send something to Cherie. That eventually morphed into a conversation that I had with Camille about hooking Cherie up with some friends of hers whom I know who now live in Las Vegas. I cannot tell you how wonderful it felt when I emailed this individual, who knows us both, and she emailed me back and said she'd like to get in touch with Cherie. I was so happy, I told Camille, and I have to say, I was just about crying when I did.

Then I got a call from Cherie, and she said she couldn't get to Las Vegas, for a variety of reasons.
I need to help my wife do this. No matter what she did to me, no matter what has transpired, my wife and children need me. I need to find a way to make this work. At the very least, I have to try.
With the same happiness I received when I contacted Cherie's friend, I must use that same level of energy to make it work so that she can be with family during this time. It has everything to do with loving my wife, and very little to do with us returning to each other. I want to be all about helping someone I love, selflessly.

At this moment, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I have to figure something out, or work hard trying. I have to make the effort. She has to see that I'm making the effort. When people love each other, they do anything they can to show their love, even if they don't fully succeed. That's exactly how I feel right now. I have to make an effort, and God will help me, I am sure. He knows exactly how I feel, even if my wife does not. It does not matter. I have to try and do this for myself, for my wife. Her reaction to it is inconsequential at this point.

To all the people who might suggest that I'm letting her walk over me, I ask: Have you ever loved someone so much that you would do anything for them, regardless of what they do? If you have, then you understand. If you haven't, then you never will understand.